Dark Imperium Episode 5: Idendity Crisis
by menofwarhide
Summary: Alistravia is forced to confront her past mistakes when her Equerry and an old friend strand her on Vigilus


Alistravia sat and read through the latest reports from the front, some were a few weeks old but it was unlikely much had changed. Most of what was here was typical war reports, advances made on some worlds were countered by losses on others as the typical attack and counter attack of a constantly changing front line continued on which was starting to feel monotonous to her. Most of the traitor legions had astartes so old they knew the doctrine of the 2nd but the only problem was they did not know how to fight it which was good for her sons but it would only last as long as her brothers or Ezekyle stayed out of the fighting. She was reading through the latest update on the new titan the Mechanicum had been working on and was pleased by it, there were some misgivings of course and it would be hard construct them quickly enough they could provide support where it was urgently needed and no planet needed it more than Vigilus. It had become a maelstrom of war and she had tasked four of her veteran companies to assist in its reinforcing but the planet was still in chaos and nothing short of one of her brothers re-emerging and heading their to assist would calm that chaos... and even then.

A beep from her comms broke her train of thought.

"Yes admiral?"

" _My lady we are receiving a communication request from Terra, it is the High Lords"_

" _Odd_ " Alistravia thought

The next meeting was not scheduled for another two weeks and after the discussion she had with them over their failure to silence rebellion in the carditis system she expected them to stay quiet until that meeting, the system had been brought back under imperial control but not before so much damage was done to the infrastructure of the planet that the Mechanicum estimated thirty years before complete restoration of the systems industrial output so given that fact, this must be urgent.

"Put them through Admiral" she said as she stood and her lights dimmed

The twelve lords materialised around her and each looked to be in a bad mood, Sankara her Equerry materialised last and he too had a sullen face, she knew by his look whatever it was it was not good news.

"That bad is it?" she said looking at all of them

" _Empress"_

" _Uh oh_ " she thought

The high lords had never before addressed her in such a way, it was usually either "Honoured Primarch" or "My Lady" but never Empress which set off more alarm bells for her.

" _the unthinkable has happened... The black legion... have appeared on Vigilus"_

 **Identity crisis**

"when you say appeared!?"

" _A traitor who goes by the name of Harrken Worldclaimer has declared he will capture the world in eighty days for the despoiler"_

Alistravia rolled her eyes as she heard the champions name

"Ridiculous name but I seam to remember a sergeant Harrken from the crusades, he was quite ambitious" she took a breath "I'll call some more forces through the gate and have them depart for Vigilus with all speed but I trust the forces that are there to hold the world until they arrive... although Sankara could of given those orders and informed me on his own so why are you all here?"

" _we have been discussing the Primaris, Cawl believes there is an opportunity to make all astartes going forward Primaris"_

Alistravia let out a low grown at this.

"I explained to Cawl several weeks ago that I will not allow the current astartes to be phased out like some kind of old useless technology"

" _Cawl was clear on your orders and does not wish to disobey however we have concerns that we can no longer contain the current threat with astartes alone, we need Primaris...at least that is what some of us believe"_ The lord who was talking looked over to one of his fellow lords who simply glared back at him

"As I recall the last time we spoke you assured me you could handle any and all issues that would arise so let me be frank and say whatever epiphany your trying to guide me to I suggest you drop the vague suggestions and tell me what is going on"

The High Lords looked at each other as if daring one of their comrades to speak but they all stayed silent until Sankara spoke up.

" _Mother the high Lords can not agree on a course of action"_

"This seams like a simple decision to take, if you need me to simply give an order then say it"

" _the problem is we are divided, half of us agree with your original order to Cawl whilst the others do not"_ one of the Lords said speaking up as he glanced at some of his fellow Lords

Alistravia sighed.

" _things have changed Empress, we can not continue on we must advance the astartes development and bring the development and deployment of the Primaris into full if we are to defeat the traitors and their demonic allies"_

Another High Lord shook his head and instantly started talking straight after his counter part.

" _It would take much time and could cause the current generation of astartes to rebel and we can not afford a civil war right now"_

" _If Vigilus falls it won't matter anyway"_ Another said as Alistravia paced back and forth

" _Your lack of trust in the astartes will see you cursed by the emperor"_ Countered another

"I find it interesting that some of you would turn your backs on the astartes even though you have used them as your personal enforcers at times" Alistravia interrupting the argument but her statement drew a look of shock from the twelve "I know what you've been doing and it is something we can discuss another time but this situation with Vigilus is of greater concern and I will need time to asses the situation first"

For a moment Alistravia swear she saw a glancing annoyed look from Sankara but she dismissed it as interference.

 _We will need a decision quickly Empress"_ one of the Lords said pulling nods of agreement from his comrades

"I will endeavour to respond quickly"

" _Mother"_ Sankara started _"I wish to contact you from my quarters for a private discussion"_

This felt odd to Alistravia, even odder than the High Lords addressing her properly, Sankara was in the habit of making private communications to her but to broadcast his intent in front of the high lords almost seamed careless.

"Of course, contact me as soon as your able" she responded and the image shut off

Around an hour later Sankara appeared and he did not look happy.

"What is it San?"

" _You need to stop this now, stop suppressing the others!"_ he shouted

Alistravia did not know how to respond, Sankara had pulled... her... aside at times during to crusades to quell her anger but he had never shouted at her before.

"I am sorry Sankara for a second there it sounded …..like you were giving me an order!"

" _I..."_ Sankara bit his lip and then looked off to the side and nodded to someone else who was in the room _"You need to start acting like a primarch and stop this endless shying away from responsibilities"_

"Whose in the room with you Sankara? Who is telling you what to say?" Alistravia questioned as she tried to look beyond the projected image so see any reflection

" _Someone who has reminded me of my job as your equerry and your friend now you need to allow the others to resurface and come back to Terra to start enforcing your rule or..."_

"Or what?"

" _I'll open up a portal and we will drag you here"_

Alistravia stepped right up to the image and glared into the eyes of her equerry.

"I am going to end this transmission and I hope when we speak again you will have an apology ready"

Sankara said nothing in return and instead waved his hands in a circular motion and slowly the empty air between Alistravia and the image of Sankara stripped away until she was starring at the real thing, she chuckled.

"I don't have to step through that portal and you can't make me" she said turning her back on the psyker

Then she felt a hand grab her by the shoulder, it wasn't Sankara's, it was far too big and given what Cawl had said she knew it could only be one man, she felt the pull as she was ripped from her quarters and on to Terra.

 **Terra**

she slammed into the wall at the other side of Sankara's quarters, for a moment she could see the fading of the runes on the floor he had used to cast the spell to bring her here. She scrambled to strand up and as she was rising she saw two people. The first was Sankara with a somewhat ashamed look on his face, not ashamed of brining her here, more like he was ashamed that it had come to this.

The second was taller and was stood with his arms crossed in golden yellow armour looking down at her silently judging. His beard had not changed any since she last saw him and was as white as his full head of hair.

"Rogal" Alistravia sighed "Turning my own sons against me now?"

He did not respond and simply stared at her as she stood in her white and gold Estrellan regular dress she wore when no visitors were coming and no battle was needed, her pistols were holstered around her waist but her hands were far away from them as she looked to Sankara.

"how long have you known?"

"he came to us shortly after you left Terra" Sankara said "and before you say anything I am not against you mother, we are trying to help you"

"really!" she said stepping forward towards her equerry who stood his ground even in the face of her becoming angrier "Then perhaps you could explain to me why you felt the need to give me an order"

"Because I told him to!"" Rogal boomed and stepped between them "Do not be angry at him Alistravia, he has not failed you... it is you who has failed the imperium and your own legion"

"Mother I am sorry it took so long for us to see it but the wrong you is in control and you have become... soft, your sudden talk of exile and leaving, the idea of saving our people seamed wise at the time but you were not saving them, you were saving yourself" Sankara said as he watched Alistravia look over the praetorian

"You supported my decision!" Alistravia stated

"Because I valued our friendship and did not wish to upset you and then when..."

"Enough!" Rogal said interrupting Sankara "I suggest you save your breath equerry she will not listen to you so step outside, I would have words with her myself"

Sankara nodded and bowed before turning and exiting the room, Alistravia heard the locks clank into place.

"So what, you think I've become soft too" she said as Rogal wondered a few feet away from her "I expected more tact from you than to turn my own against me and..."

With a roar Rogal spun around grabbed her by her tunic and slammed her against a wall.

"Coward!" he spat in her face

"That's rich coming from the man who has hid himself from his own legion" Alistravia hissed back and he threw her into an armour rack

Alistravia stood up but before she could react he grabbed her and slammed her against the wall again.

"You dare to talk to me of cowardice, you who saved a few billion by running away so that trillions more would die in a civil war perpetrated by a man you beloved, you who still now lets the imperium burn just so you can play your game of with the high lords to see who blinks first... you really just want the imperium to fail so you can run back to the other side of your gate and never give us a second thought" he said keeping a tight grip on her

Alistravia hated the accusation she did not care about her brothers, although the stench of Rogal's breath in her face wasn't doing her opinion of him any favours.

"I thought about you all, but coming back was impossible and my sons warned me against it"

"LIAR!" Rogal shouted in her face before letting her drop to the ground "Sankara and Gigas, that brute of a bodyguard of yours, told me exactly what happened... they told you to at least send scouts so that the situation could be ascertained but you refused and sat on your growing legion, a legion we could of used"

Alistravia stood and looked at her brother who took some steps back.

"I only did that because contact was forbidden by our father"

Rogal looked at her with a look of disbelief.

"Again you lie!" he shouted "our father never said anything about forbidding contact"

Alistravia looked Rogal over as he glared at her with contempt, the thought of going for her guns never crossed her mind because if Rogal believed her to be any real danger to him her guns would have been taken by now. Alistravia decided to change her approach hoping to trap Rogal in his own words.

"At least Roboute's out there fighting! you sit here and do nothing"

"Yes he is fighting and why aren't you, why do you run from battle, your a primarch, built for war and your legion is strong so why do you go in the other direction... why don't you stand along side Roboute and show the imperium what you were once capable of"

"Are you not going to answer my question first?, I am empress after all"

Rogal looked at her and shook his head.

"No I do not have to explain myself to you, nor are you fit enough to be empress"

"Father thinks otherwise"

"he believed in you and probably still does but right now your just a pretender to the throne, a real ruler would of demanded loyalty day one instead of playing games with those High Lord cowards... do you think they will ever respect you if you keep running?" Rogal asked

"They will eventually fall into line"

"And how many systems have to fall!, how many have to die needlessly because you are frightened of facing them head on!"

"I am not scared of the high lords!" Alistravia shouted back

"No your just scared that you will have to kill again!" Rogal countered

Alistravia felt that one hit home and turned her back on her brother crossing her arms.

"I am not afraid to pull the trigger on anyone"

"Liar, I remember a different Alistravia to the one I see now, you were a great ambassador and when it was needed you show kindness and respect but when crossed you were cold and calculating, ready to kill anything that dared stand in your way... I remember that day when you crippled that silent sister for just daring to speak out against your authority! not to mention those you killed first just to get to her and …..then there is the eleventh"

Alistravia turned around with an angry look.

"Don't you dare!"

"Oh I dare sister!" Rogal started "You were only supposed to help Russ shut down his lightning shield but you couldn't resist taking a shot at him"

"You did not see the horrors he subjected those people too!" Alistravia said Almost screaming at her brother

"And you did not see the horrors Horus inflicted on the imperium!" Rogal countered with his own shout

Outside the room Sankara was conversing via hololith with the admiral and Velar, Alistravia's lore master.

"I apologise for the scare but mother felt it best to come here quickly to deal with some situations that have arisen, until she returns the fleet is yours"

" _should we head back to Terra?" the admiral asked_

Sankara shook his head.

"no need, I will open a gate for her to return when we are ready"

" _how long do you think she will be there for brother?"_ Velar asked

He of course knew what was happening but faked ignorance on this occasion, Sankara could hear the two yelling at each other and shrugged.

"As long as it takes"

"I don't know what happened to you sister but you changed and not for the better... Sankara told me you refused to take worlds and retreated into yourself, then you claimed you were concerned your people would not be safe if civil war broke out but you could of sent them away through your gate and remained" Rogal said as Alistravia paced the room

"I grew above the rest of you and had no reason to stay just to watch you fight!"

"No you didn't, your the same as the rest of us, you would like to pretend your better than us but your no different in truth, you have your own flaws just as I have mine but I am willing to admit to it"

Alistravia looked at him and laughed.

"so you sit her doing what then brother?, guarding a corpse?"

Rogal gave a derisive snort.

"You think you can draw me out, cause me to lose focus by disrespecting our father, I may be at fault for being struck by self pity at my failure to protect him but at least I know my failings... you won't even admit yours to yourself...it's pathetic!"

Alistravia could hear her hearts beating loudly and could feel the blood rushing throughout her body, it was an old sensation and she fought hard to keep it down, her darker self whispered and pulled at her trying to dislodge her control.

Rogal looked at her with his fists clenched as if expecting a strike.

"I see you sister, holding back, attempting to force down your rage so you can act like your above all this, that little voice at the back of your head is that part of you you buried for whatever reason!" Rogal said

She could hear a voice in her mind like an echo of an old memory, only it was not some time past she had forgotten but she pushed it back and swallowed her rage, the rush of blood subsided and she looked up at her brother.

"So Roboute's training was that also a ploy?" Alistravia asked regaining her composure

"He believed it would be enough, and you did a good job convincing him that it had worked"

Alistravia looked around the room assessing other ways to get out but she knew Rogal had likely made sure every exit was sealed.

"Unlike him I will not apologize nor will I allow you to lie to me as you did to him!"

"I am done with this conversation Rogal, allow me to leave and I will forget this ever occurred" she quickly countered

A disappointed look came over Rogal's face.

"So you will not listen to me either... then there is only one over option left... Sankara!"

Alistravia's equerry re-entered the room and waved his hand along the floor revealing another set of runes, as he did a hole ripped open and cold air poured through into the room.

Rogal grabbed Alistravia and dragged her to the portal, chucking her weapons aside as he went.

"If you won't reveal your true self to me I know a world that will force it out of you one way of another" he said then threw her, before she could react, through the portal

Sankara closed the portal fast and the cold air dissipated.

"Are you sure about this my lord?" he asked Rogal who sat down on chair leaning forward with his head on his crossed hands "What if it doesn't work... what if she dies there"

"That's the problem with you Estrellan's" the praetorian said as he stared into the empty space where the portal had been "you spend all your time using science to solve the mysteries of the universe when sometimes all that's needed... is faith!"

 **Vigilus**

It had been six days since Rogal had stranded her here, for the first two she had wondered around the empty streets looking for a clue as to where she was and she had found it, scratched on a wall by a dying guardsman whose body looked like it had been there for months.

" _VIGILUS DEFIANT!"_

She did not know how to feel about that, she was still reeling for what had happened. She replayed the whole event over and over again in her mind as if trying to undo the events with sheer force of will.

On the third day she found a Rhino and made it her base, it was half buried under a fallen hive tower but the hull was mostly intact, it smelt rotten and the sound of rodents scurrying around underneath it annoyed her, she imagined them like their own little army waiting too erupt from the ground and consume everything.

She was able to salvage some supplies from the transport, food and water rations that were still somewhat edible, not that she needed to eat a lot and she could, unlike a human, consume the engine coolant in small doses if she desperately needed some form of hydration but she could ration the water and food well enough for now, sadly there were no weapons of any sort.

The fourth day she explored a little further out to try and find some more supplies and hopefully a weapon of some sort but all she found were looted corpses, some xenos and others human. The area of what ever hive city she was in seamed abandoned right now, every now and again she could hear the distant sound of gun fire or artillery, at one point high above she could make out a squadron of vendettas flying in an north easterly direction on a descending trajectory and had considered trying to signal them but she knew they were probably paying no attention to the ground below them.

On the fifth day she began making plans, first she would have to find her way to allied territory and hope they didn't shoot first before asking who she was, it would be difficult to explain how she got here and she would probably have to lie... a long range teleport gone wrong or something along those lines but since Vigilus was a mess of vast hive city's where warfare had digressed into enemy's being separated by only a street or even a simple building divide, even if she did find an allied faction it's likely they could be separated from any unit with access to a vox caster to be able to contact any ship in orbit and arrange extraction but even if some how she did find all these things it wouldn't matter anyway because if she somehow made it back to Terra Rogal would only do the same again, if not this time something worse to get her to react.

She replayed the fight with Roboute in her head and realised then how hard he had been trying to goad her into reacting and allow the others to resurface but she had spent so long like this it had become second nature to suppress her true self, sure parts could emerge at times but as long as she kept those alters locked away she would be safe... at least that's what she had believed until now.

She thought about what her father had said on her return to Terra, she thought about how maybe this was a mistake on his part, Rogal had said the emperor might believe in her but he was right though, she shouldn't of taken this role but saying no to her father was hard because she had not been there to fight with her loyal brothers and thus he had died... well his body had.

So much had changed and so many wounds had been inflicted on the imperium yet she was content with inflicting more and only now as she looked at her self in the reflecting node of an old lumen did she see the evil within.

Horus was a traitor as were many of her brothers but at least their intentions had been clear, to dethrone the emperor and rule the imperium them selves while their masters in the warp crushed the life from the human race, it hurt her to think she was bigger traitor than them simply because she ran but it was the truth, perhaps it wasn't evil within her but she was ashamed.

So on the sixth day she gave up, ran her hands over the plans she had used a rock to etch on a piece of torn parchment she had found and threw it away into the dark where she sat alone and as the seventh day dawned she found her self wishing for a gun of any kind she place to her temple and fire.

Rain had started to fall around midday, at least it should be midday by her reckoning, she had to track the days in her own head as the sky was nearly always dark from clouds of ash and cinder, on occasion a distant explosion would give some light but barley any made it to her. She sat in the corner of the transport attempting to sharpen a piece of metal she had broke loose, she didn't like the idea of suicide but it would end things and wherever she ended up next it would be better even if it was nowhere.

" _ **Do you really think you have the guts to do that?"**_

Alistravia looked around searching the darkness for another person but no one was there, she would of heard someone moving around the hull and seen the light change from when the hold opened and shut so she dismissed it as a group of sounds come together to form something that sounded like speech.

" _ **Suicide is so shameful... but then again since you took over after Arial you've done nothing but run so shame is perhaps a close friend now..."**_

Alistravia kept sharpening trying to ignore the now obvious voice inside her own head, she knew what it was and it wasn't her going crazy... it was just herself telling her exactly what she did not want to hear because she already knew it.

" _ **You ran from the crusades, you ran from the imperium and you ran from Sankara when he tried to help you... you keep running because it's easier than facing up to weakness and letting your humanity catch up to you"**_

She closed her eyes in an attempt to suppress the words but she couldn't because she was speaking them, because that other personalities she had suppressed was always there and one of them was always speaking but she drowned her out with distractions and as long as she was not exposed to certain things she would remain quiet but now here alone with nothing to occupy her...she was starting to get louder.

" _ **the curious thing is you were telling the truth to Rogal, your not afraid to kill but you know every time you do and it isn't some lifeless machine or inhuman xenos you see those faces... and then one of us will regain control"**_

She had been awake for several days and had not attempted to get any kind of rest or even shut down parts of her brain so they would sleep and she could still function so she put the voice and it's truthful mocking down to that although she knew it was a lie.

" _ **You won't survive here but you won't die either, your not going to use that blade on yourself because it's not your style... if only you had listened to the sigillite and told the emperor the truth, he could of helped you"**_

"How? By erasing the memory... it would not undo what she did" Alistravia hissed back to herself

" _ **But you wouldn't have to live with it anymore and ignorance is bliss"**_

"No! Ignorance is the failing of the weak minded who call xenos entities demons and see a powerful man as a god!" she shot back

Her own voice laughed at her.

" _ **Is that not what you show now?, ignorance, you act like your so much better than the others, as if they should be following you simply because you are smarter than them but the truth is your as broken as them, if the night haunter was here he would tell you the same"**_

"Konrad is dead!" she whispered

" _ **Because of you..."**_

"I did not turn my back on my father or the imperium like he did"

" _ **You lie! exile was not you simply asking for a break, it was you telling the emperor you hated him and his little imperium because in your mind you were better... more evolved, you even lied to our sons and manipulated your brothers just to save yourself!"**_

"I never hated my father... he was a difficult man and so cold to us at times but there was a love for humanity inside him no one could ever match no matter how hard they tried and I kept us alive... you would lead me to ruin and she would have had us stay and fight an endless war for no reason"

" _ **she and the emperor cared for all humans which is more than can be said for you... Rogal said as much, you saved a few billion just so later trillions could die in a civil war that you... we all could of prevented had we of killed Lorgar when we had the chance"**_

"To do so would of made us no better than the entities in warp, I won't kill for no reason"

" _ **You did though... once"**_

"That was you not me and I am not going to talk about that!" Alistravia said to herself in anger

" _ **Oh but I think we need to, it will be therapeutic..."**_

"No I won't talk about this with you!"

" _ **Why not?"**_

"Because then all I am doing is talking to myself and that gets me nowhere just as it did all those years ago!"

" _ **So if you won't talk to your brothers , Sankara, your father or even me... who is left?"**_

"Does it matter... I can't undo what happened by talking about it" Alistravia said solemnly to herself

" _ **I think that is the problem, you pushed us away to try and make it easier but you had no clue what suppressing your other personalities would do to you and this is where it has brought you, remember I am your dark side and she... is balance... we are you... you are literary telling yourself these things"**_

"Shut up!" Alistravia said as she stood up

" _ **No I am not done yet..."**_

"Be quiet for a minute and listen!" She hissed

In the distance a low rumbling could be heard but it was gradually coming closer and it kept coming until it was no longer a distant echo but the very real sound of large explosions.

" _ **oh... that sounds like a walking artillery barrage... still it means you won't die by your own hand now"**_

Alistravia ran to the hold entrance and hit the open key, it stuttered and opened a slight amount before slamming shut, she tried to let go... to allow one of the others to take control but they refused... or maybe just couldn't but either way she was stuck.

" _ **I though you wanted this?"**_

She ignored her own words and pushed hard on the doors and they began to buckle outward to the point there was enough room for her to escape, another large explosion went off and this time it was much closer, close enough the next barrage would likely consume the rhino. She grabbed the blade she had been making and tucked it in guardsman's belt she had recovered before diving out of the hold.

As she looked back this whole section of the hive was in flames and she immediately started running as the sounds of shells moving through the air came into ear shot.

The first few shells consumed the tower and the rhino in fire as they impacted the ground and she could feel the heat wash over her, more shells were coming but she wasn't sure she could out run them, one landed close behind her, debris and shrapnel flew after her like darts, one hit her in the leg and two more penetrated her chest knocking her over.

Her fast healing was kicking in and the nanites in her blood steam were exercising the pieces of shrapnel by breaking the parts that had penetrated down and pushing the rest from where they protruded but the wounds were bad enough her system became over worked and she struggled to push her self up as she heard more shells approach.

She ran as best she could as her leg healed it's wound but a tendon must have been damaged and trying to use it while it was repairing was awkward, as what she hoped was the last of the shells hit the ground she leapt into the air using her good leg and allowed the shock wave from the explosions to carry her forward, more shrapnel hit her but none penetrated thankfully and she hit ground with an arm extended, it broke and she winced as she rolled a few feet in the dirt before stopping and staring up at the sky, her arm was already repairing and she pulled it across her chest so it was straight enough for the bones to knit back together quicker. When it was done she let it fall to her side as the heat from the fire caused by the shelling washed over her, she was tired and still healing but out here in the open she was vulnerable and her darker self was right, she wouldn't take her own life but now someone could just as easily do it for her.

The sound of heavy foot steps from her left made her shift position and place her hand on the makeshift blade, not that she had the strength right now to fight while she was still healing. Two glowing red eyes and a helm of black and pauldron's of white looked down upon her, the shock wave from the explosions had shattered her ear drums and they were still regenerating so she did not hear what the marine said as she felt a pair of arms lift her up and cradle her, she closed her eyes and remembered the day her human father had lifted her out the pod she arrived in, her wounded body had added to her exhaustion and she looked up at the red helmed marine who carried her before closing her eyes again and slipping into a deep sleep.

 **Terra**

Sankara had assembled all the senior officers and they stood in a circle ready to discuss the situation they had all been a part of in some way. Going clock wise around the room each individual was unique in their appearance. First there was Gigas, Alistravia's massive bodyguard and chief of security, he was not the first to agree to this course of action and it had take much persuasion from from Kyros, his twin brother to make him understand this was the right thing to do and he knew it truly was but he couldn't help feel a wince of regret at what he had done.

His brother Kyros, Alistravia's first captain, stood as a hologram in his huge shadow with "Tide Splitter" sheathed at his side, he looked angry but composed as he looked out over the others. Next to him was Admiral Marten who had only just been filled in on what had occurred and was not happy about that and struggled to understand the full reasons behind it because she only knew this Alistravia, not the one from the crusades.

Velar stood next to her, the old Terran born marine was scratching his beard as he waited for the full staff to assemble, he was stood along with Nev the chief apothecary and all there were stood in a private room on the Pequad projecting their image here, the last person to arrive was Sylph Dinar, chief tech-marine and master at arms, he was broadcasting from a ship guarding the wormhole gate.

"Now that we are all assembled we can begin" Sankara said

" _Firstly I must say I find it insulting that you did not inform me of this decision until after it had been enacted upon"_ The admiral said

" _Our apologies admiral"_ Kyros started to say _"But when our mother returns we did not want her wrath to fall upon you so we felt it best to keep you out of the planning"_

" _If she returns"_ Nev grunted

"She will return to us!" Gigas exclaimed

" _your so sure about that!? This as gotten out of hand and we have gone too far"_ the apothecary said

"Nev you agreed to..."

" _I agreed to the intervention by lord Dorn, not to strand our primarch on distant world with no weapons or support!"_ he said interrupting Sankara

" _calm down Nev, I realise this has gone to the extreme end of what we hoped we would have to do but it was necessary"_ Kyros responded

" _At least let me take a guppy and check that she is alive, I won't contact her but least I can keep watch"_

Kyros shook his head at Nev.

" _no brother lord Dorn has forbidden any kind of contact or rescue attempt"_

" _Dorn is not our primarch!"_ Nev responded

"But he is a primarch and out ranks us because of that" Sankara said which seamed to settle Nev down "this is the only option we had left short of strapping her down and allowing me to invade her mind to see what was going on"

" _how will she get back from Vigilus?"_ Sylph asked

" _if the Alistravia we want is back in control then she will likely commender a ship and find her own way back"_ Kyros pointed out

The admiral looked around them all and was confused.

" _You talk as if she is two different people!? As if somehow the Alistravia we currently have is completely separate person but still suggest she is one and the same, forgive me but I need more clarification"_

Sankara looked to Kyros who nodded his approval.

"Admiral I met Alistravia when I was a child and we grew up together, to me she was just a young Estrellan woman, polite, kind and a genius but the day her parents were taken her other sides awoke"Sankara spoke

" _Other personalities?"_ the admiral mused

" _yes but different to what is normally expected, she does not suffer from traditional Dissociative Identity Disorder"_ Nev interjected

" _I have heard of that before what is it?"_ the admiral asked

" _DID was more commonly known on old Terra as multiple personality syndrome, is a complex psychological condition that can be caused by many factors, usually it comes about from severe trauma in early childhood"_ The apothecary said

" _But you don't believe it was some kind of childhood trauma?"_ The Admiral continued

Sankara shook his head.

"I knew her all through her childhood and she suffered no traumas but who knows what happened when her incubation pod was pulled from the emperors lab and into the warp, I believe her mind was split then but it wasn't until the xenos took her parents did they surface"

" _But her DID is different" Nev said_

" _How so?" the admiral questioned_

" _Because normally with that that disorder the other personas don't remember what the other does and it's often confusing for the dominant persona as they have no idea why they lose time or find they have done things that they had no intention of doing but Mother is well aware of her other sides and remembers everything they do...this is good as it allows her to draw the good elements from both sides and discard the negative ones but if one of the other personalities gains control even for a short period it can be problematic"_

"Admiral the young girl who I knew was the extreme of her... for lack of a better term lets say light side but what happened that day caused her mind to open up and reveal three distinct personalities and the one that took over first was violent and unthinking" Sankara said

" _Like the primarch of the twelfth?"_

Sankara shook his head.

"No, Angron's rage is caused by the butchers nails, in many ways it is not natural, this was more of a completely opposing personality change, the taking of her parents caused the hateful persona to exert control, I tried to calm her down but she simply ignored my pleas and tore apart the first Kappa that tried to get in her way"

" _the darker Alistravia is still very much her, it just embraces death and destruction where as the lighter side of her is kinder and has... a more positive attitude but it is also deceitful and manipulative, in many ways it can be considered the most evil of the three because it rather selfish in it's motives"_ Velar stated to give the admiral some clarification

" _how did you stop her?"_ the admiral said turning back to Sankara

"he didn't... my brother and I were planning that day to assault the kappa temple along with many others in the resistance and when we saw her tearing into the xenos temple and ripping them apart we decided to take our shot and for some reason our appearance seamed to force a change of her personality..."Gigas said

"… _. her very body language cooled and while you could see the anger and lust for revenge she seamed less clouded and more focused... as if our appearance had forced that violent personae to lose some control"_ Kyros said finishing his brothers tale

"After that day her we discovered the third and most dominant personality, it is the other two personalities mixed together to create a more balanced person... that is what we saw most of the time during the crusades, the one you have been dealing with is the lighter side but we are not sure why it has been dominant for this long, normally it takes some kind of extreme stimulus to force one of her two more extreme personae to show and usually after a few days the dominant persona reasserts control" Sankara stated

" _what kind of stimulus?"_

"I am sure you know your history admiral, that the Kappa attempted to reduce Estrellan population by infecting the water supplies with a virus that prevented pregnancy... well mother and the council were able to undo this and when she saw the joy and pleasure it brought the women, to be able to have children again, it overwhelmed her mind and tipped the balance so much she had her own child"

" _So Carin was a result of the lighter Alistravia taking control?"_

" _yes, both the dark and light Alistravia are callous and do things that can be considered lethal or life altering but the darker side seams to have some understanding of it's mortality and always pulls back at the brink but the lighter one... well it's choices... led to Carin"_ Nev responded

" _So Carin was a mistake?"_

"No admiral she loved Carin and never regretted his birth but as her mind returned back to balance she knew there were consequences she had not foreseen because of that personalities selfish desire" Sankara responded

" _So this is why Lord Guilliman wanted to train her, he hoped the stress of training would fix the balance but didn't so Lord Dorn tries and when that failed..."_ The admiral said

"we sent her somewhere the only way she will survive is if she is able to re-address the balance but to do that she must embrace her other personae and allow the neutral Alistravia to regain control"

The admiral still looked confused although she now had an understanding of what was going on to some degree.

" _but I've seen her get angry, even threaten violence against others!?"_

" _On occasions her darker side can surface temporarily but she has spent so long denying those personalities and not allowing the neutral personae to resume control that it has left her weaker and instead of protecting the imperium she seeks to run from it as she did before with exile"_ Velar said

" _But not before she destroys it with the lack of responsibility her lighter side shows"_ Sylph said

" _so the question remains why did she switch off those personalities... what could of caused that?"_ The admiral said and looked around at the others who exchanged glances

"Only she knows and she has kept it a secret for so long when it comes out it will be hard for her" Sankara said

"But that is not of any concern" Rogal Dorn said stepping into the light of the room "Our true selves is being who we are... if Alistravia is to go forward she must embrace her whole self"

 **Vigilus**

As Alistravia slowly stirred should hear the distant sounds of talking, close by she could hear heavy footsteps and the sounds of a power-pack and low level lumens as they hummed. To her right someone shuffled and made a wincing sound.

"Stay still Valine or it will be more painful" A rather quiet voice said

The smells in the room were enough to identify it as an apothecary but she could also smell burning incense, cheap incense which she could tell by how weak it's odour was.

She opened her eyes to a dark grey stoned roof and looked over towards where the shuffling sounds were coming from, a dark green armoured apothecary was tending to a guardsman who looked over at her.

"Your other patient is awake" the Guardsman said

Slowly the apothecary turned round to face her, his armour was the dark green of the Dark Angels but the emblem on his shoulder-guard had been etched out. He had a weary looking face with a half beard and a scar that looked like curved all the way around the bottom of his jaw but he looked proud, as if what ever had caused him to become weary was irrelevant and he had a certain stature to maintain.

He took a few steps over to her as she sat up.

"I wasn't sure how long you were going to asleep for, to be honest by the time Koman got you back here most of your wounds had healed... I tried to wake you but you seamed determined to sleep and I can't imagine what penalties causing a sleeping primarch to wake would carry"

"and where is ….. here?" she asked looking at the makeshift apothacarum

"An underground structure deep within one of the hive cities"

"where are the rest of your battle brothers?"

The apothecary looked as if he was staring through all the structures above them and through into the sky and beyond.

"They are far away fighting for the imperium while I am here trying to undo my failures"

Alistravia looked him over, he was clearly hiding a deep regret, she swung her self around so her legs were hanging off the make shift bed.

"What is your name?" She asked

"Maxis... once apothecary for the Dark angels now a healer for the other damned"

There was a quiet for a minute although it seamed like an age and she looked at Maxis who seamed to be reflecting on his shame she began to reflect on hers.

In her mind she had committed a cardinal sin that shamed the neutral Alistravia but then as she had taken control she had committed more sins and brought more shame to them, she looked up into the eyes of the Dark Angel.

"What did you do that cause you to leave your brothers and come here?"

"I do not wish to discuss it!" he said sternly before hanging his head in shame at the outburst "My apologies primarch... but it is personal"

Alistravia held a hand up.

"Do not worry yourself, you made no error...but I have made the mistake of not sharing...pain, and it eats you up inside but I respect your choice Maxim and I take no offence in your response"

The Dark Angel seamed relieved and nodded to her.

"Koman wanted to speak with you when you awoke... he is likely by the fire contemplating his past mistakes"

Alistravia nodded, she started to walk off but stopped and looked back at Maxim.

"The Lion was a noble man... I am glad to see that nobility still lives in his sons" she said hoping it might ease the Dark Angel's suffering, before exiting the room

She stepped out into a large room with many people mostly astartes and some guardsman but they all looked sullen and rather beaten down, not from battle, from guilt. The first warrior she saw was the imperial fist who nodded to her as she looked around the room and he strode past her carrying a box of what looked like weapon parts, he was young and was walking with a slight limp.

To her right was a Blood Raven librarian talking with an Iron Hand tech-marine, the two looked as if they both had known each other for years judging by the body language. The Raven was bald headed and had a patchy shave to his face, Alistravia could see no reflection in this marine of any of her brothers and she doubted he would tell her even if he knew. The Iron Hand was a face of mostly metal and it was hard to tell if this was the typical habit of the Hands, to replace the flesh with the machine, or if it was the result of some great wound.

A guardsman sniper sat near them constantly loading and unloading her rifle in some kind of ritual, she looked dishevelled and worn but determined... as if her next kill would undo what ever shame she held on to.

A White Scar sat holding a helmet and he starred into it's eyes as if looking for it to speak to him, the helm was not his own because he wore that and it looked as if it was rarely taken off.

Other legionaries were scattered about, all of different legions some even from those that had been founded after the heresy, like the man who sat starring into the fire at the centre of the room. His black and white iconography was obvious despite the black cross that had been painted out he was obviously a former Black Templar and he glanced at her as she approached.

She took a seat opposite him on the other side of the fire, a passing guardsman handed her a plate of some meat, most likely a canid or some other animal they had caught and used for food, it looked almost raw but she grabbed the whole plateful with one hand and stuffed it in her mouth, it was tough to chew and the taste was awful but she swallowed it and felt her stomachs pleasure at consuming something.

"Thank you for the rescue" she said shyly as the Templar starred into the fire

"Walking away from a child of the god-emperor and letting her die would of brought more shame upon me"

Alistravia partly wanted to scold him for identifying her father as a god but where was the use in that, what would it truly accomplish and right now in how she was feeling she had no right to scold others for minor mistakes.

She noticed the pips above his eye, he had been a captain and was clearly the leader here even if the others were not of his legion.

"Captain I..."

"No rank!" he said cutting her off

"I am sorry?" she asked

"We do not identify by rank here, it has no purpose" he responded

"But you clearly lead these warriors, I can see that without even considering your rank" Alistravia said

"they give me their allegiance and I accept it but rank serves no purpose... we are all damned and seek our redemption in the eyes of our legions and the god-emperor"

Alistravia nodded.

"Koman then?"

The Black Templar gave a slow nod in response and then spoke.

"I can not spare an escort to get you to safety, we are being hunted on all sides!" he responded sternly

"Actually I was going to ask if I could join your little group... I too have to earn my place back within the imperium"

Koman lifted his gaze from the fire to her.

"Why?"

"I just said why" she responded and Koman shook his head

"you have pain, regret and shame within you I can see it in your eyes because I have learned to recognize it because of the time I have spent with my own shame and hearing of the others but they came here to regain their honour of their own volition, I can not imagine a primarch, especially you, would of made that decision for themselves..."

"You don't know me" she responded

Alistravia looked into the fire as he continued.

"True but...I doubt my brothers along with Lord Hellbrecht and Grimaldus agree with your appointment as empress but they would not have the strength to send you here simply to earn your place so I must assume it was someone who could equal, if not outdo you in strength"

The crackling of the fire and Koman's voice were all that she could hear, all the other sounds of passing marines and distant talking had faded away, she could smell the rotten scent of defecation but beyond that her senses had no reason to scrutinize the world around them, she looked back up at Koman and met his gaze.

"It was Rogal and my equerry... no, my friend, who sent me here"

Koman was clearly surprised at the idea that Rogal was alive but made every effort to hide it before responding.

"Why would they do that?"

"Because I am broken and I let trillions die in a stupid act of self preservation to avoid further hurt, I used manipulation and deceit to convince my father to allow me exile and on top of that I may of killed off the one person that could of corrected all this"

"and who would that of been?" Koman asked

"Me... well the other me's"

Koman looked confused and tilted his head in a sign of curiosity.

"I have two questions" he said and Alistravia nodded "How did you trick a god, and second... what do you mean by me's?"

Alistravia again felt a little like scalding Koman for using the term god but she again saw it as a pointless thing to do.

"Perhaps he always knew and simply felt sorry for me, or perhaps this was some master plan of his... to have me return and keep the imperium alive... trying to understand that man's motives was impossible, I doubt even me and all my brothers combined could never truly understand what his real plan was"

Koman nodded in understanding.

"As for the other thing well..." She grabbed the piece of metal still secured in the belt and began drawing on the ground

She drew a line in the bright glow where no shadow was cast from the fire.

"This is me as you see me now, what some might call the light personality and everything I have done for a long time has been under this personae but it has made me weaker and this me is a coward who runs from danger for selfish reasons... I can accept that now"

Koman watched as she moved and drew a line in the dark where a shadow was cast.

"There is the darker me, it is violent, hateful and cruel, recently it's voice had grown stronger and I thought she was mocking me but in truth I think she is trying to help restore balance" Alistravia said

"Balance?" Koman queried

Alistravia drew a third line that was half outside the shadow and half in before circling it.

"She is balance, both myself and my darker me give her strength but at times we can overwhelm her and take control but not for long... or at least it was like that until Ariel"

She took a deep sigh of regret, Koman said nothing she knew he knew she was about to continue, this part of her didn't want too but her darker self was right she had to talk to someone and Koman was as good as anyone.

"When we arrived we found a world of farmers living peacefully, she didn't call upon any of my brothers because it seamed like an easy compliance... they were not looking for a fight, but then we found their secret..."

She stopped and looked deep into the fire before she continued.

"They had bonded with the Eldar who had taken refuge on their world, had children with them and when they realised they would have to be purged of those hybrids they picked up their pitchforks and tried to fight, it was so wasteful because they were not warriors and we gunned them down in their thousands"

"They had chosen to side with the alien, you did nothing wrong surely" Koman said

Alistravia nodded, her eyes still on the fire.

"It had happened many times before, in fact Horus and I spent six years preforming a similar task on a human-xenos empire once so that was of no bother but what she did on that final day caused her so much shame I surfaced and took over"

Koman stayed quiet, Alistravia had not noticed how focused he was on her and kept going.

"The balanced me, she prefers to stay out of direct combat as often as possible as too much of it can cause the darker me to emerge, she was covering her... our sons from a sniper position and an Eldar had snuck up on her and taken a shot, he missed of course and she pursued following him down into a dark bunker where he detonated some kind of smoke device, the whole chamber was filled with it so she could not see but her hearing picked up the sounds of moment and she began firing and there was more movement and then more and she kept shooting until it stopped...when the smoke cleared she expected to find an Eldar warrior group hiding but instead they were all humans..."

Her voice almost cracked as the sound of her own heart breaking again flooded her senses, Koman did not react but he locked eyes with her for a second but instead of the judgement she expected she saw sorrow.

"…..they had been hiding from the fighting and maybe the Eldar knew they were there and was hoping to use them as a shield or maybe he had nowhere else to run but in a moment blinded by a need to kill one xenos she killed those she was meant to protect but it was the child that brought me out... she lay dying looking up at us... we cradled her in our arms until she passed"

A few light drops of water hit the ground and Alistravia looked up as if expecting to see more drops falling but none did and it was only when she went to wipe what she thought was a drop that had landed on her cheek did she realise they were her own tears.

"After that the neutral me retreated away and has never returned, she's there I can feel her but she does not speak, when the artillery barrage started I tried to give up control but it didn't work and now I fear I will be stuck this way forever"

Koman leaned back a little in thought.

"Why do you think the neutral you does not respond?"

"I don't know"

Koman nodded and took a breath.

"I killed one of our own because I believed I saw signs of heresy in his actions but I was wrong and left the legion in shame... how can I fight against heretics if I can not recognise real heresy..."

Alistravia looked at him with some pity but did her best to hide knowing it was likely the last thing he wanted from her, he continued.

"...All of us here have committed acts of great shame and while they do not share with each other they have all shared their shame with me"

Alistravia went back to starring into the fire.

"I hope then this means I can join your group?"

"No!" Koman responded bluntly

"No?" Alistravia said startled by the response

"Lord Dorn did not send you here so you could hide away and retreat from responsibility, it is my understanding from what you have told me that they sent you here not as punishment to exile you away... but in hopes that this you would see the folly of your actions and return the others to control"

"But I have tried!" Alistravia exclaimed

"then I suggest you try harder... or perhaps that is your problem, you are trying too hard" Koman said before standing up "you may stay with us and we will share food and water but do not expect us to defend you if we are attacked... you are a primarch and are more than capable"

Koman walked off leaving Alistravia alone with her own thoughts, he was right and maybe she was trying too hard, she had to communicate with the other personalities but one refused to talk and the other would likely just berate her so there had to be another way, if only she could get inside her own mind.

She glanced at the Blood Raven psyker and pondered...

 **Terra**

Sankara was studding an old book when Rogal Dorn entered his chambers, the damaged armour rack he had thrown Alistravia into was gone but there was still cracks on the wall from where he had slammed her against it.

"Sankara I have a question"

He looked up at the primarch and nodded.

"if she returns and is still not complete, would you really go into her mind?" the praetorian asked

Sankara closed the book and sighed.

"If it is our last resort then yes, though I do not relish the intrusion"

"might I suggest another option rather than waking her other sides" Rogal said

"Of course"

"When you enter her mind, why not make all three into one, reforge her personalities into one whole so she is complete"

Sankara respected Rogal Dorn, for all his stout devotion to imperial rules and fortress building he was a man who still stopped to question the world around him and that impressed the psyker, some of the other primarchs and even Alistravia believed Rogal to be to closed off and had placed a fortress around his own beliefs and never questioned them or his loyalty to the emperor but there were times like this when even he stopped to questioned his own knowledge in order to improve it.

"that could kill everything she is, maybe even destroy her mind completely"

"How so?" he asked as he watched Sankara place the book back on the shelf and then turn to face him

"Mother mind is not broken, it already is complete... think of her mind like hab unit with three people living together, each with their own thoughts and feelings which at times they share but ultimately they are separate entities and to force them into one would be to kill three people"

Rogal looked over at a landscape painting of some distant world.

"Do you think if she returns she will respect my want to remain hidden on Terra?"

Sankara shrugged.

"Hard to say, in her own way mother respected you but I do not know how she will see your choices, forgive me for saying my Lord but even I do not understand why you remain here"

Rogal took a breath.

"Someone has to protect my father, but it's curious" he said still staring at the picture "Alistravia always believed our father truly cared for us and I believed she would understand then why I hid but she did not"

"I would not take what that Alistravia said personally, she tries to trick others into admitting fault so that she can stand above... she tricked us into abandoning the imperium... we should of know better"

Rogal turned to face him.

"You obeyed your primarch, there is no shame in that"

 **Vigilus:Outside**

A lone man worked his way back into the outer tunnel and to the outside, he looked back over his shoulder to make sure he was not followed, he entered the dark building in front of him and a traitor in black armour stepped out of the shadow to face him.

" _what have you to tell me?"_ he asked, his glowing prosthetic eye giving off enough light for the corporal to be able to make out where his jaw had been replaced with a vox synthesizer

"Twenty marines and six guardsman, they have light arms with a few explosives but the tunnels are well defended and they would cut you down easily on approach"

" _Your mission was to find me a way in not to give me reasons to abandon my hunt!"_ The corporal dropped to his knees and held his hands in the air in fear

"I did find you a way in!" he squealed "There is a wall next to the main hall that has partially rotted away, if you avoid a direct approach you can break in through there"

" _Excellent... but we must draw the majority of them away first or the element of surprise will not last us long enough to do any real damage"_

"If they were to hear rumours and see Pict evidence of a convoy they would likely move to assault it" the Corporal stated

" _yes that will leave their base lightly defended and we can destroy there supplies and force them to move and once they are out in the open we will end them"_

"there is one more thing my Lord"

" _oh?"_

"A primarch is with them, the one who claimed the throne... but she looks defeated and unwilling to fight... I imagine she would make a fine prize to hake back to Lord Harrken"

The legionary laughed a dark nerve shaking laugh.

" _You have served the dark gods well my friend, you may live to see another day"_

"Thank you my Lord"

 **Vigilus: Inside**

Alistravia had learned the Blood Ravens name was Bolas and she approached him as he sat at a makeshift table near what looked like a rather weak wall, she would have to point that out Koman as it could be a danger if an enemy were to discover it.

"Bolas?"

The Blood Raven turned around in the chair and looked up at her.

"Yes?"

"I need your help with something...it is important"

Bolas indicated the seat opposite him and Alistravia took it, she looked at his stone face and gave a faint smile.

"I need to go into my mind, to try and repair the damage I caused I would go into detail but put it simply, I need to talk to my other selves"

Bolas looked at her and rested his hands on the table in front of him.

"To go into anyone's mind is dangerous, even your own"

"I know but I have to try, will you help me?"

Bolas lent back in his chair.

"You are a primarch, I am duty bound to obey"

Alistravia shook her head.

"I am not worthy of that title right now, do this because you want to or not at all"

As she finished saying that Koman walked up followed by the Iron hand.

"Bolas old friend, we have received news of a small traitor convoy moving several clicks south of here, we are going to assault it do you wish to join us?"

The Blood Raven looked at Alistravia and then to Koman.

"I wish to help our friend here" he said indicating Alistravia "I will stay behind with the those assigned to stay and proceed with her request... good hunting"

Koman nodded and headed off.

"thank you" Alistravia said and the Blood Raven nodded

"give me your hands..."

 **Vigilus: Outside**

A Dark figure watched twelve warriors set off into the distance.

"My Lord they have taken the bait"

 **Vigilus: Inside**

Alistravia felt the psyker's hands around her own and closed her eyes, then she could feel him prodding at the defences Sankara had once set up in her mind, they were basic and she allowed Bolas to move past them.

" _I am going to allow you now to enter your own mind, do not stop physical contact with me or the link will break"_ He said telepathically

She felt her self lurch as if being pulled by a black hole into darkness, a thousand memories passed by her, in the distance she saw her mother and father smiling at her, closer she saw the emperor arriving on Estrella and then she saw Horus staring at her with a great smile on his face and she closed her eyes to block them all out.

When she opened them back up she was on the ocean floor of Estrella inside the great trench, she looked around and saw her darker self looking back at her with an evil stare, she was covered in blood and the stench of death some how permeated the water and filled her nostrils.

She looked to her left and saw hiding, under the shell of a giant clam, her neutral self, she did not look at her but instead stared at the ground.

" _ **well well, look what the catfish dragged in"**_

"this is no time for you to insult me" she responded "we need to restore her" she continued pointing at the neutral Alistravia

" _ **Your really willing to give up control after so long?"**_

"we don't have a choice anymore... I thought confronting my past would help but it did nothing but stir up bad memories"

" _ **you see... that's your problem, right there... bad memories, you label it as if we should run away and try to forget it because something negative happened but the truth is we need to admit to ourselves we made a mistake"**_

The light Alistravia bent down and looked at the neutral one.

"I know we did wrong and we made it worse by carrying on and not asking for help and I am to blame for that but you can not believe that allowing me to continue on in your place will help, you must not continue to punish yourself, we must be all aligned again or the imperium will burn"

" _ **But you want that?"**_ The dark Alistravia said _**"then you can walk away with no shame"**_

The light Alistravia stood up angrily and walked to stand face to face with the darker one.

"your right and I was selfish and stupid and reckless, but these astartes we find ourselves with, they have not given up and do not run... they stand and fight because if the imperium burns then they will burn with it just as we will if we stay like this"

She turned back to the neutral Alistravia.

"Our fathers body is gone and all we have left is Sankara, Kyros, Gigas and all our other sons and our brothers but they will die if we stay like this, we did a terrible thing and we must live with that but others must no longer suffer due to our mistakes and make no mistake" She said looking her darker self "they are our mistakes... we might be separate individuals but all of us share blame for this"

The dark Alistravia for once had no response and stepped over and crouched by the neutral one.

" _ **she is right, we all share this shame and to carry it on your shoulders alone was the greatest mistake we ever made... allow us to share it so we may be whole again"**_

The neutral Alistravia took her eyes from the floor and stood up slowly along with her Dark self and the three stood together again.

" _ **Does anyone else hear that beeping?"**_ The dark one said as she looked around

"it's low yield satchel charge on the wall beside our body, it will break the wall down and create a concussive blast causing confusion and disorientation" the neutral one said

The lighter one stepped up to her.

"You must retake control"

She shook her head.

"No, not till after we have dealt with our intruders and in order to deal with them we need...vengeance" she said looking at the Dark Alistravia who smiled evilly

The blast knocked the table over as the wall blew inward knocking Bolas and Alistravia into the centre of the room bolter rounds shot through the smoke killing two guardsmen before they could recover, Bolas unloaded his bolter into one of the traitors who was foolish enough to charge straight in but a shot from the dissipating dust cloud killed him outright. The marines who had remained were mostly wounded and they were dragged out of the apothecary into the hall while the two able bodied marines who had remained guarding the entrance were killed.

 **Vigilus:Outside**

It had been an hour and no convoy had turned up, Koman signalled the sniper to contact home.

"something is wrong here" he said to himself as he waited for a response

" _Koman I have no contact with the base"_ the guardsman sniper voxed from her perch in a high window

"BLAST!" he spat "everyone get back to the base, it's under attack"

 **Vigilus:Inside**

The black legion warrior with the glowing eye stood looking over the four remaining marines.

" _You will make a fine sacrifice to the dark gods"_

He looked over past them and walked to where Alistravia was knelt down next to the body of Bolas, dust covered every inch of her and she looked up as if embracing an environment she had never seen before.

" _And a primarch will make me much favoured with Lord Harrken"_

All of a sudden there was laughing from Alistravia, it started out as a small giggle but it got louder until a maniacal laugh was echoing off every surface, the black legionaries looked around as if searching for a vox caster of some kind.

"Pathetic little son of Horus" she said as she stood to her full height "I am not going anywhere with you but I would like to stretch my legs a little"

She turned around and started walked up to him, bolters moved as the other black legionaries watched her approach.

" _I am Oren blood-maker and you are my prisoner"_

Alistravia took a breath and then in one move drew the blade of metal at her belt and plunged it into the only living eye Oren had left.

"I am the only one who makes blood around here" she hissed and twisted the the blade causing him to cough up dark red blood

She heard a click as one of the other Black legionaries began to pull his trigger, instantly she swung her self round the back of Oren pulling her blade free. She held up his body as the bolt rounds that were meant for her hit him in his chest, as his body fell she took his bolter from his belt and shot two of the legionaries dead before they could react, a third came at her with a chain sword from the side and she dodged back letting it sweep past her, then she plunged the blade into the side of his neck before pulling it free and delivering two bolt rounds into his chest. As he fell a warrior with a plasma gun took aim but she dived forward and shot a bolt round through the plasma chamber causing it to over load and explode in his face, he screamed for a moment before Alistravia shot him through the head, the last two legionaries came at her with bolt guns blazing and she ducked behind a pillar that exploded in fragments but the dust was enough to cover her movement as she flanked the two warriors, she shot the first one through the head as his friend turned to face her but she sent two shots threw his knee caps and as he fell to his knees she kicked his bolter away.

She lifted the warriors helm from him and starred down on a scarred face that looked up at her with no expression.

"do you remember me child?"

"I saw you once with Horus, you were weak then just as you are now"

Alistravia was insulted and looked around the room.

"my dear Luna wolf... does this look like the work of someone who is weak"

He growled back at her.

"I am not afraid of you!"

She placed a hand on either side of his head leant close to him.

" _I know"_ she whispered before squeezing her hands together until his head caved in leaving nothing but a bloody mess.

There was silence, the loyalist marines were breaking free of their bonds and checking for any more traitors, Alistravia closed her eyes and felt the calm begin to wash over and when she opened them again balance had been restored and she took a deep breath.

"it's good to be back" she said to herself

Koman came in a few minutes later and looked over the carnage.

"What happened?" he said as one of the marines who had witnessed it approached

"She did" he said pointing to Alistravia "she just killed them with such reckless abandon"

Koman turned to the others who were just coming in.

"Burn the bodies and get ready to move out, we can't stay here any longer"

He approached Alistravia carefully, even from this distance he could see some difference in her body language and curiously her black hair seamed to have grown longer, she had laid out a bunch of weapon parts, some had been ripped out of old de-functional weapons while others were simply components that had been lying around and she seamed to be building a rifle of some kind, he stopped a short distance behind her.

"Are you restored to your former self?"

"Yes" she said and he noticed her accent seamed to have changed, before she sounded foreign and every word had a strange hang on it but now the hang was gone and even though you could still hear a slight twang she spoke with a more imperial tone.

"Did the darker version of you... do this? He said looking around knowing what the answer would be

"she was more suited to deal with the situation" Alistravia said as she slid a firing chamber into position

The more he spoke the more he could tell the difference, the previous personality spoke with emotion and her words were soft but with this one there was less emotion in her voice and she was methodical, he could see that by the way she was carefully examining each piece she had laid out and was assessing it's usefulness.

He could see the rifle was almost complete and while it looked make shift and in some ways unwieldy he could not deny the cleverness she had to build a weapon from scratch.

"I need an escort to the nearest imperial safe zone" she suddenly said

"As I said to your alter we are..."

"I know what you said" she cut him off quickly "but that me had no intention of leaving this damned planet but I do, now you will provide me an escort!"

"I need to get these men to safety before more of our foes realise our location and I do not have... time...to"

She had stood up to full height and turned to face him, he realised just how tall she was as she starred down at him, the other one he had been sure was smaller than this but this one was bigger and the other had never given off that sense of authority but this one had the stature of what he expected from a primarch.

"Your excuses do not concern me, you are an astartes I am a primarch... I command and you obey... as the old poem goes... over the hills and far away"

For the first time since meeting her he felt a heavy lump form at the back of his throat and he struggled to swallow it down in the face of her as she continued.

"your position here is untenable so you are correct in needing to move before you are located again and your little hit and run tactics are a minor annoyance to those who oppose the imperium but come with me and I will give you a greater purpose once we are off this rock"

To Alistravia the Black Templar was worthy of some respect, she understood his motives and the need for him, and those who followed him, to try and redeem themselves but they were wasted here and could never truly hope to make any major difference, eventually another enemy would locate them and next time they might not come with a small team but a large assault force and kill everyone then all they had done would have been in vein. But she could give them a purpose, yes many would likely die getting her to safety and beyond that she did not know what she could do for them but right now she just needed them for one purpose.

"We do not know where the nearest allied faction is, it could take days to reach them or even longer!" he protested

Alistravia sighed.

"The walking barrage that almost killed me came from a north easterly direction, the shell type indicates a battery of basilisks... it was also the same direction I witnessed a squadron of vendettas descending towards so we will proceed in that direction"

"those guns could be in the hands of traitor guardsman working with the Black Legion" he responded and Alistravia tilted her head slowly in a hint of curiosity

"Then we will kill them and move on... you wish to redeem yourself in the eyes of your brothers and my father? sat here behind enemy lines you will kill very few but come with me and hundreds, maybe even thousands of traitors and xenos will die by your hand and mine and these warriors will earn their redemption far quicker than if they stay here"

Koman did not understand it, perhaps it was the primarch herself and the words she spoke or perhaps it was something deep with in his conditioning but he felt a sense of pride at her words and a need to obey that outweighed rank... she set a fire in his hearts and he had noticed other warriors had heard her words and were gathering around.

She looked over the others.

"You need to all ask yourselves how you want to die, in the darkness alone and forgotten by your legion or out there beside me and should you perish then I will carry your name to your former legion brothers and tell them you died fighting alongside me and they will remember you and my father will know your names!"

Many of them roared and cheered and Koman looked around and smiled, the primarch had awoken something inside these men and himself. She was right, sitting around striking at supply lines meant nothing if they were killed and no one remembered them or even recovered their gene seed and he joined the chorus of voices.

"For The Emperor!" he roared along with the others and the primarch smiled

It had been the first time he had seen her smile since they found her and it was good to see and in his mind he saw the reason he had been guided here by the emperor and knew he was chosen.

Alistravia was please by their response and she basked in it, the pride and strength she inspired in them would be needed now.

Her mental crisis was not completely solved and the events of Ariel still weighed heavily on her mind but now that her other personalities would share the pain it gave her some relief, much was left to do in making up for that shame and this planet still had the potential to kill her but she was determined to get back to Terra and reclaim her place.

She though about Rogal and Sankara, she couldn't blame them for what they did and she would have words with them on her return but she had to keep her mind focused on where she was right now because she was about to step out of the frying pan... and into the fire.

 **The end**


End file.
